Speaker 1 (00:05):
This recording is an offering of Networks for training and developments Online University.

Shauna Roman (00:15):
Hey, good afternoon everyone and welcome to another Think-A-Thon with Networks. There's several of us here joining to have a discussion with you today. This month's topic is putting into practice everyday things. And these Think-A-Thon historically have been a way for us to come together in a pretty informal way to share our collective wisdom. Our shared experiences, our unique experiences, tackle some important questions or themes together. And quite frankly, brainstorm. We're not looking for expert advice or opinions. That's not what this forum is about. What's said here should stay here. So if you want to share a personal example, feel free to omit any sensitive details, whatever you're comfortable sharing is what you should share and nothing more. So as a way of a quick introduction, I'll just share Shauna Roman with Networks for Training and Development. Joining, we have Jessica Stover, Tracy Laprisiosa, and Rosa McAllister all with Networks, the Networks team as well.

Shauna Roman (01:31):
And I want to thank you for spending some time with us this afternoon. So without further ado I think we can jump into the topic, and this month's topic again is, putting into practice everyday thing. So let's take a look at what we mean by that. And I'm really interested in hearing your perspectives as well. When we think about how we support one another and support is informal and formal. It could be in a work capacity and, or in a personal way. Could be with people that have disabilities, people that have lived experiences or people who are just your friends or your colleagues or your neighbors, acquaintances. Sometimes we miss certain details or what I like to call the little things. And when we get stuck, maybe in a rut, trying to figure out how to provide better support, I think a conversation that we might have today, perhaps can shed some light on how we can get unstuck, if you will, and be more effective as we support one another.

Shauna Roman (02:41):
So I'm just going to dive in and I love a good quote, and I'm not the only one here at networks and I'm guessing probably some of you as well. So there's some quotes that I found that I, as a lover of quotes, "Sometimes little things make a big difference". So just thinking about an experience that you've had, or maybe something that perhaps you're struggling with, what is that little thing that maybe we could do or you could do that might make all the difference, but we miss it because we're so perhaps overwhelmed or focused on the big thing, whatever those things might be. So I'm going to ask a question, how do we focus on the little things, on those everyday things? What do you think?

Tracy (03:29):
This is Tracy, and I find that the little things are the things that I sometimes find when I stop trying to look for things, if you know what I mean with that. A lot of times I may have come into a situation having a certain view of what it was going to be like or what I want to say and do ahead of time. And I'm finding that sometimes if I don't go into a situation like that and I'm with someone and I just come into the room, or I'm with someone and I don't have an agenda and I just let things unfold, we seem to get, I find out more things that I can be more supportive of for that person. Just by being present and not necessarily even asking questions. Just being present, things just kind of sometimes flow.

Jess (04:18):
And this is just, I'll echo that, how to say, how do you notice the little things? How do you see the little things? Something that's always been helpful for me and even more so lately, even in my home life, trying to think through, okay, so how do we want to accomplish this? What's the best way to do it? Whether if it was a physical thing or a thing that we're trying to think about doing and plan out, if I literally do a hard stop force myself to stop thinking about it, for one, but two, go for a walk, just a quick walk, get away from it and come back to it. It's the little thing and the easy thing that'll pop up and say, yep, that was what it was. That's what we need to do. That's what we need to try instead. As, Rosa, I'm going to steal your quote, is it keep it easy or make it easy?

Rosa (05:03):
I think both work. Lately, a number of us have been saying, let's ride the easy train.

Shauna Roman (05:08):
Yes. I love that. I love that easy train. I'm hitching a ride on the easy train for sure. Eva I see in the chat, Eva, you said yes. A smile calling just to say how, ask and listen on how someone is doing. I totally agree with you. Yeah. It's like simple. We're talking about simple things. This is far from rocket science. Chris, you said even little things you do for yourself, man that is so true. I can think about examples. I take myself for a walk. I try to do that every single day.

Shauna Roman (05:43):
And even when the weather doesn't cooperate, I won't melt. I'll grab an umbrella or a hood and I'll head out to take that walk because it's important for our own mental health as well and our own physical health. So doing little things, not just for others, but definitely for ourselves.

Rosa (06:04):
Yeah.

Shauna Roman (06:04):
Good stuff. So I'm wondering if anyone has an example, because we're talking, I think a little bit in the abstract about things that we need to do, but I'm wondering if there's an example or story that someone would be willing to share that relates to this refocusing that we can do on the every day.

Rosa (06:22):
So this year, need I say has been a little bizarre this year and a half this however long it's been. And I was at home obviously, and like many of us, I had to shift what I was doing. I have my son and daughter-in-law are both teachers here and I have two grandchildren. And some of you have heard this story, so I'm going to and try not to bore you with it. I offered to have my grandkids with me a couple days a week for virtual school, since they were already plugged in and they knew what to do nine and 13, they were eight and 12 at the time, they kind of knew what to do. They had their own iPads or computers or whatever, and all that. They just needed somebody to be with them and frankly, to cook for them a lot.

Rosa (07:08):
So it became Tutu. I'm Tutu, Rosa, Tutu's grandmother and Hawaiian. So I'm Tutu Rosa. And I opened Tutu's Virtual School and Restaurant last year. And I just graduated from it just last week I think it was, because the kids headed school soon, a little earlier than back in Pennsylvania in the mainland. Anyway, as part of Tutu's Virtual School, the kids were busy and the luxury of being here in Maui, for those of you who don't know, I live in Maui, Hawaii, we would on recess, quote unquote for lunch break, "We would jump in the ocean, or go for a run outside or check the flowers or do different things". And I came up with the idea that maybe we could raise Monarch butterflies. So that's what we've been doing. And it was a simple little idea that has taken on, I cannot even describe to you the dimensions of learning and love that this raising butterflies has done personally for me. I thought I was doing it as a fun thing with the kids, but it has become almost full-time job number one.

Rosa (08:15):
But beyond that, it just incredible levels of learning. I just had five little kids over on Mylan eye, my patio about 15 minutes ago, checking on my caterpillars. They witnessed one yesterday. These are just little visitors here that saw that I was, I had this funny looking tent on Mylan eye and was checking on plants every morning. And they asked me what I was doing. So I introduced them to my kitten pillars as we call them in caterpillars. They've seen the numbers of butterflies, one property here, which has, I think more than quadruple since we started this little project back in February. These five little visitors from Arizona got the whole caterpillars for the first time. One little boy this morning found one on one of my milkweed plants that had just come out of its egg. This microscopic little, teeny, tiny caterpillar, kitten biller as we call the little ones and he was able to rescue it and save it before the geckos got it.

Rosa (09:11):
They happened to be here yesterday morning and watch as one of the caterpillars went into a Chrysalis, they saw that whole process and I got to watch through their eyes and their wonder, and them screaming and calling their moms and dads over to see it too. The wonder of life, a simple little thing, like a caterpillar and a butterfly. It's not so simple at all. And I think that's true for a lot of these simple little things that we do for ourself be it remembering to ride the easy train or having somebody else remind us. Thank you, Jess. You've reminded me a couple times recently. Let's easy train. Let's take it easy and yep. Or take a breath or lower your shoulders. Those simple things are not simple at all. Right, Tracy, you're there with your little guy right now.

Tracy (09:58):
Yeah, definitely. I just want to say too that I don't know a number of us on the call are caregivers, so to speak in many different ways, professionally and personally, and you find that you are giving and giving by whatever it is that you're doing, doing the little things we're talking about here, smiling, taking time to listen and being present for people, doing little things to help them get through. I'm at my daughter's house, helping them to get through a tough situation right now. So you're doing those kind of things and you just forget sometimes what it feels like when it flips. And a couple days ago I was with a person that I've been involved with the family and helping them out in multiple ways personally. Initially it was professional. Now it's personally. And I just have been there and doing a lot to help them through a difficult time.

Tracy (10:57):
And she knew that I was getting ready to go on a trip, to go down to support my daughter and be there for my daughter's family. And she just looked at me and said, "I just want you to know that I'm here for you". Sorry. And it was just, it was so touching because I'm always the one saying I'll be here for you. And here was someone that has always been a person who was like needing support from so many people. And there, she was just like, I'm there for you. I'm there for you. And it was just, I get emotional, just repeating the story because it just wasn't something I expected. And it was definitely a little thing that became a big thing to me.

Shauna Roman (11:42):
Thank you. Wow. That's incredible. Thank you so much for sharing. I think. Yeah. How do we show up for people, for others and how do we show up for ourselves? And I really believe in that reciprocity and that what you put out, you get back and it's great, Tracy, that you got to experience that and see that what you've put out very obviously got back. And I think that happens for all of us in different ways. I can think of another way that we think about the little things and the everyday things. And that comes in the form of setting boundaries. And I don't want that to sound clinical, because that's not my intention, but I think there are times I can think about me being the tech support for my older parents and any technology they need assistance with, I'm the first person they call, they won't Google it. They know how to Google it, they'll call me and then I'll Google it.

Shauna Roman (12:48):
And there have been situations and experiences in the past year, especially with pandemic where I had to kind of slow down because I was always at the ready to provide whatever support and be there. And what else can I help you with mom and dad and wanting to support them. But at the same time, I had to think about my own needs and what those healthy boundaries could be so that I wasn't the first person that they called in every single situation, but they could learn some of this for themselves. And so I'm still practicing that, but I think setting some boundaries is important so that we can, again, focus on what we need individually, as well as being there for others. I see some comments in the chat. Eva, thanks in response, Rosa, to your sharing about the virtual school restaurant and raising butterflies, that does sound like a lot of extra work for sure. And really, really great. Thanks again, Tracy, for sharing anyone else? Let me hear a thought.

Tracy (13:54):
I said was Ingrid new Cook's birthday. She's like the head OFTA and I can remember years ago about maybe something like 2015, 20 years ago, she was in Philadelphia and I was going to a book signing and I rode the 23 bus down Chen Hill. It was got off. And I went to, and I was going to the bus stop there and I saw her and she had gotten off the bus somewhere and she, I think it was. And then she, we walked down to there, I was too shy to say anything. And it came across, there was this big road, this big street there that was really scared to cross. I had gotten hit by a car, hit by a car and everything and she it's okay. You can cross. And so I started to go across, so we both went across and I never forgot that.

Shauna Roman (14:47):
Thanks, Chris. Yeah. These simple acts of kindness really go a long way. I'm kind of struck by how simple these strategies are. Be kind, smile, go for a walk, throw something, taking my own list here, learn something new, ride the easy train. I love that one. Be present for others, be present for ourselves. I don't know what I expected would come out of this conversation, but, I'm glad to have a very simplistic list like this for these reminders. Other thoughts?

Tracy (15:25):
I think another thing that I always think of when I think about little things is just taking that moment, to say thank you or share your appreciation for something that is maybe small and routine, and I know sometimes we take things for granted and just, just a little simple example. My husband always makes coffee in the morning and he always brings me my coffee sitting in my chair or in the morning. He always does it.

Tracy (15:53):
And I don't always say, thank you. And through the pandemic, I was like, you know what? This is nuts. I got to say, thank you. So I started saying, thank you to him every morning. And it's like changed the tone of my day and changed the tone of his day for me to just say, thank you and not have it be like, assumed that I'm grateful for the fact that he makes my coffee and brings it to me every single day. And we just take sometimes take things for granted. And then I noticed he started saying, thank you to me for doing some of the things that I do on a routine basis that we just weren't really showing that we weren't noticing, and it makes you feel good.

Susan (16:31):
Oh, you're so work as program specialist. And I would take the individuals out from a workshop and on my time and the world wasn't as litigious as it is now, one day I took somebody to the movies and it was just the previews. What do you call it? The previews, but they're also, they were also movies. So the person looked at me and saw the previews because I like this movie. And I was in tears because of something like that it was not a movie. Just trying to be out and it's a big deal. And something such a big thing, you can always love to be like a preview, so what.

Shauna Roman (17:13):
Great. It's like we sometimes take certain things for granted, baby. And I think sharing moments with people, whether it's someone you support, whether it's someone with a disability, whether it's a friend, a neighbor, I think these are like universal ideas about how we can be there for one another and show up for each other.

Jess (17:39):
Susan, you reminded me, of that story reminded me of something else. And honestly coming into our Think-A-Thon today, I had in my head like something, a little different, but this is like really cool, how this has shifted. I had in my head, easy things, like posted notes, that make my life easier. But really at the end of the day, it comes down to the other little things. So a story I can share of one of the other little things, years ago, I was supporting someone in their home. And you guys may have heard me tell the story before, and if you have, I apologize, but it's just, it was almost 20 years ago. And I still remember it like it was yesterday, but gentleman Steve, he's since passed away several years ago, but he always wanted to go the Smithsonian and he grew up watching the TV show all in the family and he wanted to go and see Archie Bunker's chair.

Jess (18:37):
And that's all he talked about. He just wanted to do that. And I didn't know anything about it, but I knew how far the Smithsonian was from where his home was. It was about three hours. It's like, let's go down to the Smithsonian. So we hopped in the car, went down, drove three hours, finally found parking, finally found the right museum of the Smithsonian, because the Smithsonian, isn't just one place. It's like 20 different places in and around D.C. And we finally found the right place, found the right entrance. Wove thrill, finally found the chair, he sees it. I'm like Steve, here is the chair. This is awesome. And, it was like the birds started singing. The breeze was blowing through his hair. The angels were shining down upon him. It was amazing. And he was just so thrilled and, we probably hung out there for maybe five minutes and looked around it on all sides and read the plaque on it, et cetera, et cetera.

Jess (19:32):
I said, okay, Steve, what do you want to go do? Now we're here. Look at the rest of the museum, get something eat. He's like, nope, I'm ready to go home. Are you sure, we're here? Nope. I'm ready to go home. Out back to the car we went, hopped back in the car, drove three hours back to his house, but it was just an easy thing. It was an easy thing.

Jess (19:52):
And it was so simple and it was listening to someone and it was seeing that, well, this isn't because, he would tell me that people would say to him, oh that's ridiculous. That's so far away. You want to drive three hours. So what it's three hours? Let's do it. So we did it and then the next thing on his list so he started making like a list of stuff he wanted to do and we'd go do it. He wanted to go to Penn state play football game. We went to the, it was easy stuff and it was fun. It was so much fun. And it was all little things, simple things. And we rode the easy train because we didn't make it hard.

Shauna Roman (20:30):
I love that story. And, back to this easy train, maybe this Think-A-Thon should be titled taking the easy train. But I love the idea of thinking about how, or maybe a question that we can wrestle with is how our service system makes these things difficult. I feel we can sometimes get in the way of our own best intentions. So I'd love to hear your thoughts about that. In terms of our human services system, does it support these simple ideas or does it get in the way? What do you think?

Rosa (21:14):
This is Rosa? I think it many times overcomplicates and gets in the way many, many, many times. And I know, I feel almost bad saying it because I know the system, the system in quotes is there for a reason to help and to provide funding for people and, all that kind of stuff. And yes, it does that, but over heaven's sake, sometimes it's not the easy train at all. It's the very, very complicated train. I sometimes shake my head and think, oh, for heaven's sake, a small example the other day, Jess, you were part of this, a committee that we've had running to help for a project in Philadelphia at the end of the committee meeting, we've been meeting every Tuesday for, I think, 14 weeks. And at the end of the meeting, I said, do we need to meet anymore? And there was kind of like stunned silence because that's not a question that's usually asked at a committee. Committees go on forever and ever, and ever unnecessarily without real reason. And that's just one small example.

Shauna Roman (22:23):
Thank you. Yeah. Your example and you use examples that struck me with, what are we doing as a services system to try to make life easier or simpler? I think sometimes simple, isn't always the approach that is applied within our services system. And as much as I'm a part of it, I guess to the services system, I still believe that we can do better in a lot of different respects to support one another. Very good. Other thoughts, other questions, Jess, you brought up post-it notes and, if there's an opportunity for you to think about or for us to think about other ways that we embed or incorporate these everyday things, I'm open to bringing in posted notes. Another more practical examples. So let's have at that. Tracy, did you want to add to that?

Tracy (23:22):
Yeah, actually I was commenting back on the previous comments about the service delivery system and, in my history as a therapist, I've always come in contact with people who are supporting others and sometimes how there's always this need to like be accountable for all your time and everything that you do. So what happens is a lot of times people who are supporting others sometimes do too much for other people and not allow enough to facilitate their independence and let them think on their own, act on their own and do those kinds of things because I kind of think, oh I'm here, I'm being paid to be here. I need to be doing something. But sometimes what we need to doing is just being there so that the other person, the person we are supporting can do what they need to do. We don't need to do it for them. That's just my thought on that. Happens with parents and kids too.

Shauna Roman (24:19):
I love that. And it happens with me and my parents where I'm like, wait a minute, you can click on that and find that information. You don't need to call me on that. So I think there's room for all of us to think about, how we can support people to be more independent, more interdependent, less dependent maybe is a better way to say it. Very good. Other thoughts? I'm adding to this list. I love it. I need to make a poster out of it.

Jess (24:51):
I love interdependence and Shauna that you brought it up and I always go back to Rosa learning this from you during the communication mentors course, that networks used to run, I'm going to jog your memory. I remember a little bit about how the interdependence movement started and I think it was back in the forties. Do you remember more?

Rosa (25:13):
I totally do. I totally do. It was during the McCarthy era, which some of you may know, some of you may not know. And if you don't know, check it up. The McCarthy era was a very, very scary time in the United States history. And the interdependence movement was started by some Hollywood actors and actresses and producers and directors. Most of them who were Jewish, by culture, by religion, et cetera. And they formed the interdependence movement as a move against the McCarthyism, and the Senate hearings and other things that were going on at the time that were pigeon holding and doing terrible things to folks and blackballing, many people just because they had a different way of being. They came from a different culture.

Rosa (26:07):
So anyway, the interdependence movement was this idea, shockingly enough, she says, jokingly not jokingly, that we are all here and need to be interdependent upon one another in order to exist. And no one of us is better or worse just as the earth is dependent upon us. And we are dependent upon it. The air, the water, the birds, the butterflies, all of us. And we have talked about it more within our field of disabilities and social activism, the interdependence movement, but it really had a much earlier beginning.

Jess (26:45):
Yeah. I'm like having blasts from the past here. And, I took that like this kind of like, aha, like what? This was before I joined Networks. The most bizarre thing I ever heard, like interdependence, no, we're all independent. And so with your support Rosa, I learned more about it. And other of us we all kind of integrated into that thinking. I know when I used to lead trainings, I'd ask the question, like are you an independent person? And people almost everyone in the room would say yes, because they didn't know it was a loaded question. They didn't know it was a load question at all. And Chris you're saying, it sounds like a barter system. Well sort of and I'd ask the question.

Jess (27:28):
I'm like, okay, okay Rosa, you say you're an independent person. It's awesome. What did you do this morning? Well, I had coffee. Oh, that's amazing. You made your own coffee? Yes. You made your own. Did you grow your own coffee beans? That's phenomenal. How'd you grow your own beans. You ground the coffee. Where did you get the water? You went to a well and brought up the water out of the and it, just drove the point home that just to make a cup of coffee, we rely on so many people. If you think of how many people are involved in just your cup of coffee in the morning or your cup of tea or your glass juice or whatever, how many hundreds of people are involved in making that cup of coffee or cup of tea or glass of juice happen? It's these like little acts, these little acts every single day that makes the world go round.

Shauna Roman (28:17):
Love that. Thank you, Jess. Chris, you have your hand up whenever that

Chris (28:23):
Yeah, I know that before the pandemic there was some kind of a system they had in place somewhere where you could go in there and you could trade services off. You had to sign up for it, but you could trade services off to somebody and they would pretty much just trade them back with you and you could put in there and it would be sort of like a time or something. I think that's what it was called.

Rosa (28:50):
It is Chris. Many different communities actually it came from the farming community and many other probably back to medieval times. And then somewhere if I grew zucchini, anybody who's ever grown, zucchini knows if you grow zucchini, and it goes well, it goes so well that you can't possibly eat all the zucchini, but I may really want some tomatoes. And Chris, you may be grown tomatoes. So I'll give you some of my zucchini, if you give me some of tomatoes. The idea of time banking, many communities have done that in a more formal way and they call it that where you sign up and maybe you're really good at math skills, where you're an accountant, or you do good at billing and stuff like that. Or maybe you're a great cleaner, but this is what you really want. And so you bank in some of your time or some of your skills, like the zucchini and you get from somebody else who has maybe something that you want.

Rosa (29:53):
And a lot of communities, we just do this naturally. When I lived back in Pennsylvania, I was a big gardener. And so I had that zucchini thing happen a lot. So I started putting a basket out on my front porch and I would put all the extra produce that I couldn't eat. And I just and let my neighbors know, Hey, help yourself. I didn't mean for my porch to become the local market, but that's what it became. People would put in there, things that they had extra. And it just became a great, great, cool thing.

Rosa (30:28):
And people would, as soon as summer hit, my neighbors would ask, "When are you putting your basket out?" And I was like, I didn't know I was in charge of this, but okay. So yeah, time banking is really cool. I agree with you, Susan. It can be really neat. You need somebody to usually set it up and I don't know about there, but here during the pandemic, it actually became a much bigger thing here. Not specifically time banking formally, but the community helping one another became a big thing here. You can even just do it amongst your friends, your neighbors, amongst different people you know. It usually is as hard as like putting out that basket of zucchini and just saying hey to yourself.

Susan (31:13):
Nobody wanted to do it in Lancaster. I tried twice and I want to retry again in Allentown. This is where I learned it to begin with in Allentown. Then it died and, people have to keep up with it and people have to work at it. And because of the world is now in litigious society where we don't trust people, Lancaster want to know part of it because they ask me, who's enjoying? I said, well, this is pretty much based on the trust principle. And they were like, well, we're not so sure we want to do this.

Rosa (31:48):
Maybe Susan, instead of making it a big formal thing with Allentown or Lancaster and then, okay, just do it informally.

Susan (32:00):
No. I want you to do. Unfortunately you can't accept people.

Rosa (32:06):
Well then just when my suggestion is, don't go so big, start small. Start small in your little neighborhood with a couple of neighbors or with one other person.

Susan (32:14):
I'll tell you, state my apartment, like go for it.

Rosa (32:19):
Mm-hmm (affirmative). Yeah. Just give it. Go small, easy train.

Susan (32:23):
I think it's good for it's coming inflation.

Shauna Roman (32:26):
Really fascinating, interesting discussions. And again like this is taking an interesting turn to include things like how we can be more interdependent things like bartering and time thinking and Rosa, thanks for sharing the kind of where those things began. It's always interesting to think about the bigger picture. So I'm curious to hear if anyone has a particular story or situation that perhaps we could brainstorm potential ideas around. Again, we're not trying to provide expert advice. This really is a form to just brainstorm. And we can offer that as an opportunity for anyone that might have a question or a situation where you would want us to brainstorm.

Jess (33:14):
This is Jess. This might be too broad and it's not specific but thinking about people in our lives, people that we support or people that support us, how can we maybe us in this zoom room together or just moving forward in general, there's a trend, particularly, at least in my experience within communities that may identify with disability, intellectual disability, difference, things like that, there isn't a lot of interdependence, but it's more dependence. It's a dependence driven system that folks have to rely on others. And they're not maybe necessarily given opportunities to be more expand in their lives or experience interdependence in its deeper, true or nature, or being able to more fully engage in these little things, this easy train, these acts of kindness, these acts of every day. How, and is that system is it, because the system needs to change it again or what, but I think that might be in my mind, that's where my curiosity is kind of springing to of these next pieces.

Shauna Roman (34:29):
So how do we go from there to where we want to be?

Jess (34:32):
And maybe that question's like just way too much, it's a big question. And I think it's a- -

Shauna Roman (34:39):
It's a big question. It's a good question, I think it's. And maybe it is looking at a particular example. I'm curious to hear your thoughts. What do you think? How do we reduce or reduce the dependency that we see within our system, within our world, and look for ways that we can be more interdependent? What can we practically do to get there?

Jess (35:07):
I'll just, going back to Steve and going down the Smithsonian that would never happen today. It would become, I think I put this in the chat, a red tape event. It just wouldn't happen. Or it would take months of planning and coordination. So the first thing that comes to mind of to try to do this Smithsonian with Steve today, don't ask permission, just go and do it, but then you get in trouble, but there's other things. So maybe this Smithsonian is too big, but, maybe it's looking at what does someone want to do in their life? They love flowers. So let's go down to the corner store and buy some flowers or let's go to the field and pick some flowers. I don't know. But, my first response is just at first, ask for forgiveness later, is that how that goes? And maybe that's not the great way to approach it.

Rosa (35:54):
I was thinking that's similarly, just too. And heaven knows, there have been a number of times where I've been part of a bit of a coup where we just did and then got in a little trouble about it, but it proved a point and we used it to prove a point and we did it of course, because everybody agreed to it. And the person who we were doing it with and for wanted us to. The other thing that I would add in is just in the early days, I'm doing the history thing again, in the early days of person-centered planning, early 1990s, which for some of you, for all of us was a long time ago. Some of you may, may not have even been here, have been in a toddler. Anyway, we would, especially when we got to the point where we would hear what somebody's hopes and dreams were and what their nightmares were.

Rosa (36:42):
And oftentimes the nightmares were pretty much the stuff of their everyday life and the hopes and dreams were simple. Usually I used to say all the time I was dying for the day, somebody would wish for the Taj Maha, but it was usually such simple things like a key to their own place, a key to their own home or people not answering their home phone for them or saying 372 park avenue, instead of Shauna's house. Can I help you? Simple things. So anyway, when we would get to the point, we would end every time that we were to get every so-called meeting with asking everyone present and asking of ourselves. So knowing all this, what can each of us do tomorrow that is cheap for free, no permission is needed and you actually will do small enough, you actually will do.

Rosa (37:34):
That gets closer to what this person wants, the dream and away from the nightmare. And the most incredible little things coming back to our topic here would be spoken. I'm thinking of your friend, Steve, Jess. And so maybe I couldn't take him down to the Smithsonian like you did. And thank you for doing that and maybe making that one of his best days ever. Maybe not, maybe it was kind of like a ho hum day for him. You never know. But maybe I couldn't do that, but maybe I could watch an episode of "All in the Family" with him, or maybe I could get him a poster or some memorabilia from "All in the Family". Or maybe together we could sing the theme song. You know what I mean? Just a simple, free, cheap, easy to do, no permission needed, and I'll actually do it and I'll do it tomorrow, or the next day, but I'm not going to like wait and make a big deal of it.

Shauna Roman (38:35):
Love that, love that idea. Yeah. How do we take these big, what is that big ambitious goals, which are awesome. So I'm not suggesting we do away with them, but how do we take a piece of that and make that piece happen in 24 hours or in 48 hours? Or really simple and that maybe costs little or nothing. And how do we just make something happen?

Tracy (39:04):
I love that idea because sometimes when you look at the big picture, it's so overwhelming and daunting. And when you can look at just the little pieces that you can do to work towards that, it makes it so much more doable and lifts everybody's spirits and helps to empower everybody involved. I think.

Rosa (39:21):
Absolutely. And you know what, it's really fun to think about this, especially with this title of the "Little Things" for this session. We did a follow up study years after the personal future plan project started in Philadelphia. And the things that people noted, this is not a big aha, but it was at the time, the things that people noted who had been the people of focus that we were trying to help better their lives and get closer to the dreams, the things that made the most difference, they all, all commented on with the little things. Getting down to my buddy Lester, his dream of getting a job in a big office building and wearing a suit every day and riding in an elevator because that's what work meant to him. That was not the big thing.

Rosa (40:19):
In the end you know what the big thing was? That he had lunch with friends every day, how much does that cost? How much permission is needed? And he wanted desperately to sit on a beach with a cocktail and umbrella cocktail in his hand, and to watch pretty girls in their bathing suits go by to be perfectly honest, that was one of his big dreams. And he got to do that with a friend, helped him get to Puerto Rico. And they did just that I think, and not a whole lot else, but that's what they did for seven days. And in the end what Lester remembered the most and said was the best part of that. It was being with Frank and knowing that Frank wanted to take a vacation with him.

Shauna Roman (41:07):
I want to thank all of you. I think this has been a really rich discussion and I took notes. I don't all always take notes admittedly, in these Think-A-Thon, but I took notes today because I think we all in some way needed to be here. Those that just what did we say as we were first joining in that everyone that was meant to be here was here. And we all had something to learn and contribute today.

Rosa (41:38):
Absolutely. Thank you all.

Shauna Roman (41:40):
All right. So if you've any other final thoughts or questions or comments, thank you once again, have a great weekend. It is Friday and thank you.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
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